bathroom blade runners – who polices the toilet police?

The prejudice against transgender people in the UK has, after years of furious lobbying, reached the level of a moral panic, and thanks to the pressure of the lobbyists (and perhaps even more, the money behind them) transphobia is now essentially written into British law. It feels like bad form to quote oneself, but four years ago I wrote “The unstated aim [of a moral panic] is the reiteration of a prevailing – often obsolete – orthodoxy … And coincidentally or not, whatever the panic happens to be about, it’s usually the same orthodoxy that is being reinforced and promoted.” That’s true here. The stated aim of the pressure groups – and now, the legislation – is to protect women, ostensibly from male violence, but not only does the law not do that, it actually reinforces the status quo, where crimes against women are often overlooked and always inadequately policed. It’s a policy that doesn’t try to benefit anybody, not even those who have rabidly pursued it – but, indirectly it benefits the very group it purports to punish; male abusers of women.

Claude Cahun in 1928 – “Neuter is the only gender that always suits me”

At its heart there’s a fundamental irony embedded into the moral panic about trans people. The heart of the issue is that there are people who simply don’t want trans people – primarily but not only, trans women – to exist at all. But in trying to wish trans people out of existence, what the transphobes are really doing is insisting on their presence, heightening it (and simultaneously making trans people a way of defining their own identities too) and of course punishing them for their continued existence. The idea of trans people just being, and being accepted as the people they are, obviously isn’t any kind of threat to society; but then, choosing an invisible ‘enemy within’ has always been the agenda of paranoid reactionaries and is such a familiar trope that there’s really no need to list the atrocities these kinds of policies have led to throughout history. Under normal circumstances, the trans women and trans men vilified by activists and politicians are just women and men; the woman who works in your office, the man at the supermarket checkout, a teacher, a librarian, a lifeguard. But when looked at through the eyes of the paranoid bigot, their very unobtrusiveness becomes sinister; someone ‘posing as’ a lifeguard or ‘infiltrating’ a school to pursue their malevolent agenda.

The worst thing about a law that denies the identity of a group of people is, naturally, the impact it has on those people, but it also does nothing to address the problems it’s disingenuously put forward to solve. Male violence against women, wherever it happens, is a serious problem in British society. And yet at every stage – from early displays of ‘light-hearted’ misogyny and harassment among children and teenagers to actual physical assault – society and the law tend not to take it seriously enough, with the result that crimes are under-reported and under-prosecuted and punishments are often laughably mild. At the same time though, harassment and assault et cetera already are criminal offenses, and they don’t become any more criminal, or any better policed, by persecuting a minority group. In fact, the opposite is true, since the focus on trans women as potential aggressors not only takes the focus away from the people who are overwhelmingly, the perpetrators of violence against women – cisgender men – it’s essentially misogynistic and threatens the very safety of the women it pretends to protect.

the late cis-gender, heterosexual musician Vinnie Chas in 1989 – which toilet should Vinnie have used?

It’s perhaps important to point out that the Supreme Court’s ruling states that the legal definition of a woman is based on biological sex at birth, so that only those born female are recognized as women under the Equality Act – it’s simplistic (human biology isn’t) and it doesn’t mention bathrooms at all. But the toilet is central to the ideology of ‘gender critical’ activists. Policing who uses which bathroom is a bizarre preoccupation of the anti-trans lobby, but it’s indicative of the generally perverse and in one sense unserious nature of their obsession with trans people. That being so, public toilets have ended up being a key part of any debate around trans rights in Britain. How ‘correct’ toilet usage is enforced throws up the immediate problem of who polices it and what the criteria are for using a gender-specific toilet. It’s not enough to say, as the Supreme Court ruling implies, that women’s bathrooms are for those who are biologically female from birth, because in many cases there’s no obvious way, short of an invasive genital inspection, of working that out – and there shouldn’t be. In any kind of free and democratic society, the way someone dresses, or the hairstyle and aesthetic they adopt – in short, their identity – is nobody else’s business unless they explicitly make it so, and setting up some kind of ‘toilet police’ can only increase the harassment of women, both trans and cis. The kind of concern I express there often leads to accusations of hysteria, but this week, the prominent anti-trans campaigner Maya Forstater explicitly said this: “Not being allowed into the mens by rule does not mean you have the right to go into the ladies. That may seem unfair, but these are life choices people make. If you make extreme efforts to look like a man, don’t be surprised if you are denied entrance to the ladies.” It’s hard to know where to start with this venomous nonsense. But for a start, what does “extreme efforts to look like a man” entail? What is ‘looking like a man’ anyway? Which man? These people come across like Mary Whitehouse wringing her hands over Boy George’s appearance on Top of the Pops 40 years ago.

The Beautiful Boy (2003) by genuine TERF Germaine Greer; but is this boy manly enough to use the Gents?

For some women, regardless of their gender at birth or their sexual orientation, just having a short haircut or choosing to wear trousers is enough for some people to accuse them of looking like men, regardless of what their intentions were when choosing a haircut or getting dressed that morning. The idea of ‘not being ‘allowed’ into one or other toilet surely also entails some kind of enforcement. There are so few manned public toilets in the UK that presumably, the current bathroom attendants won’t expected to take on the duty of somehow determining who is an acceptable ‘customer’, but someone will have to, if it’s not just empty rhetoric – which it may well be. But it also creates a genuine possibility of toilet vigilantism, which sounds hilarious, until you really think about it. And what qualifies someone to be a toilet police officer or bathroom blade runner? Is there a test they need to pass? Will there be gender-determining questionnaires or apps, or inspections?

The British cis-gender, female artist ‘Gluck’ (Hannah Gluckstein) a century ago in 1925 – which toilet should she have used?

Presumably there were, until now, no laws dictating who can use which bathroom and yet, men (including trans men) tend to use the mens and women (including trans women) tend to use the womens, without any resulting fuss. Somebody who lurks in any bathroom with the intention of assaulting someone is already breaking, or planning to break the law and nothing about this legislation seems likely to deter the few people determined enough to do such a thing. What seems far more likely is that people innocently needing to use public toilets – and it’s not something most people do except in the direst need – will face some kind of additional unpleasantness, especially if their physique and appearance isn’t one that fits the standard, traditional gender norm.

TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist) is a useful shorthand term for people like Forstater and JK Rowling, but it also gives them a validity that they don’t deserve, because difficult to see any kind of feminism, either radical or orthodox, in a policy that requires women to conform to a specific kind of approved appearance to be accepted in female-only spaces. I would like to be able to substitute the term ‘right-wingers’ for TERFs, but in fact this whole issue reinforces my growing feeling that the ‘left’ and ‘right’ binary is no longer useful when looking at political and cultural issues. I am definitely left-wing, but then so, one would hope, is the Communist Party of Britain, which publicly supports the Supreme Court’s ruling. I shouldn’t be surprised though, because the mistake I – and many people, it seems – make is assuming that communism is left-wing. If I really examine what I mean by ‘left-wing’ I find that the correct word would be the much abused and misunderstood one, ‘liberal.’ And, as no less than V.I. Lenin went to great pains to explain in 1920’s charmingly-titled pamphlet “Left-Wing” Communism: An Infantile Disorder, there’s nothing inherently liberal or democratic about communism. It’s easy to forget that, because left vs. right feels so logical, but history proves the point – if left-wing means what people think it means, and communism is left-wing, then the Hitler-Stalin Pact would have been completely unthinkable. Whereas, looking at Nazi Germany and Stalin’s USSR it seems not only logical but inevitable.

Uncle Vlad’s toxic 1920 pamphlet

Hitler and Stalin’s ideologies diverged in many, quite fundamental ways, but at heart, both were really about power – who has it, and who is subject to it and can be coerced by it. And as citizens of the kind of society that wants to police who uses its toilets, we might want to consider that.

But even though an attack on the trans community is an attack on the freedom and individuality of us all, and even with all of the serious issues and implications from the corruptibility of British politicians to the possible dystopian outcomes for our society, the most important point by far is to remember that this is happening now, and that the target is a small community that includes some of the UK’s most vulnerable people. It’s evil and it’s indefensible, but it’s not irreversible – so those who object should make their voices heard.

Petty Obsession: Hair Metal you never hear in the movies

 

hairgram

With the resurgence of all things 80s in the last decade, it was inevitable that hair metal would have some kind of renewed popularity, but even so, its respectability is surprising. Mötley Crüe for instance, have far more credibility in the 21st century than they did (in the UK at least) back in the 80s. Which is nice and all, but it’s a bit disappointing that posterity has largely selected the same tired selection of Guns ‘n’ Roses, Def Leppard & Bon Jovi songs as definitive of the era. Especially sad when there were so many great albums released that failed to have much impact, even the first time round. Such as…

Easy Action – Easy Action (Tandon, 1983)

easy
This Swedish glam band was influenced by 1970s glam rock, but especially by Hanoi Rocks (look at the album cover) and featured singer Zinny Zan (later of Shotgun Messiah) and Kee Marcello, who would resurface a few years later in Europe. Pretty much every track on the original version of the album is a perfect bubblegum glam masterpiece; so much so that Poison “borrowed” the melody of ‘We Go Rocking’ for their own classic, ‘I Want Action’. There are two versions of this album; the original is the best as for reasons unknown they re-recorded standout track ‘The End of the Line’ in a less good, slow version for the rerelease.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: All of them! (except maybe the somehow not-so-great opening track ‘Rocket Ride’)

D’Molls – Warped  (Atlantic, 1990)

dmollsD’Molls were from Chicago and their self-titled debut from1988 featured a couple of truly great hair metal anthems (notably ‘D’Stroll’ and ‘777’) alongside a lot of forgettable dross. Not so the follow-up Warped, which, despite being released at the tail end of the glam era, is as sleazy and catchy as ever, but with a lot more heart.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: several, including the great ‘My Life’ and über-ballad ‘This Time It’s Love’

Faster Pussycat – Faster Pussycat (Elektra, 1987)

faster

If there was any justice in the world this album would be as well known as Appetite For Destruction – in many ways Faster Pussycat are similar to early G’n’R, but they have far more character and a kind of New York Dolls-ish soulful atmosphere which is admittedly less MTV-friendly than Axl and co. Taime Downe is, to my ears a far more likeable vocalist than Axl, and whereas G’n’R always seemed destined for stadiums, Faster Pussycat are more suited to the sleazy dive bar; and they sound all the better for it.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: take your pick – ‘Bathroom Wall’ or ‘Ship Rolls In’ would be as good as any.

Fastway – Treat or Treat OST (CBS,1986)

fastFastway weren’t really a hair metal band and some of their stuff is just solid-to-stodgy ’80s hard rock; but (partly thanks to the movie it was written for) Trick or Treat is totally a hair metal album.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: Well they already were, but ‘After Midnight’ is a towering AC/DC style classic.

 

Glorious Bankrobbers – Dynamite Sex Doze (Planet, 1989)

dynamiteIt’s surprising that Swedish glamsters Glorious Bankrobbers aren’t better known; their version of hair metal is tougher and more rock ‘n’ roll than many of their contemporaries; far more in tune with modern taste in fact, being somewhat similar to bands like Duff McKagan’s Loaded (albeit with catchier tunes).

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Hair Down’, despite some fairly laughable lyrics.

 

Hanoi Rocks – Two Steps From the Move (CBS, 1984)

hanoiHanoi Rocks were arguably the architects of hair metal; but they mostly weren’t actually metal at all, as this classic pop/rock album proves. 1983’s Back To Mystery City is even less hard-edged but even better, just not for the purposes of this article.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Don’t You Ever Leave Me’ – the perfect hair ballad, or on a more classic hair metal note, ‘High School’

Dogs D’Amour – In the Dynamite Jet Saloon (China, 1988)

dogsdamourDynamiteJetOn the whole, UK glam bands tended to imitate the style and sound of their US counterparts, but the micro-scene that included Dogs D’Amour and The Quireboys had an altogether rougher, more shambolic (not to say drunken) atmosphere that seemed to derive from 70s bands like the Faces. The music was scruffier than US glam too; less metal, more romantic, but on this classic sophomore release Dogs D’Amour managed to keep it all together and produce a set of classic and predictably whisky-sodden rock anthems.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘How Come It Never Rains’ – simply a great, melancholy-yet-uplifting rock song.

Helter Skelter – Welcome to the World Of Helter Skelter (Noise, 1988)

skelterSILLY but great, this album has more than its fair share of ultra-catchy, not at all heavy songs, plus one misleadingly hard rock opener. The cover art (oddly by Games Workshop maestro John Blanche) is almost like a kids TV version of the Pretty Boy Floyd album and the band did in fact have a silly furry mascot.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: so many to choose from but today I’m saying the towering feelgood anthem ‘Innocent Girls’

Kingpin – Welcome to Bop City (CMM, 1988)

kingpinThe best glam metal album ever? Unusually both 100% glam and tacky and 100% metal, Kingpin was Zinny Zan’s follow-up to Easy Action. After the album bombed they relocated to the US, changed their name to Shotgun Messiah and re-recorded this same album in a slightly inferior form. They still weren’t massively successful though.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Don’t Care ‘Bout Nothin’ – but they are all appropriate

Anthem – Gyspy Ways (King, 1988)

anthem

Japanese glam, less well known than Loudness, Vow Wow or E-Z-O but probably a bit better and more melodic than all of them.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Midnight Sun’

 

 

Lion – Dangerous Attraction (Scotti Bros, 1987)

lionThis strangely unknown album is full of great, classy hair metal, a tiny bit like Ratt, only marginally heavier. Maybe they should have called themselves Lionn??

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘In the Name Of Love’

 

 

Madam X – We Reserve The Right (Jet, 1984)

Most famous as being the band where the Petrucci sisters (of Vixen) and Sebastian Bach (of Skid Row) started out, this album is essentially a lightweight hair metal cheese festival: it’s great. Sadly, Sebastian was not in the lineup that recorded the album.

 

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘We Want Rock’

Nasty Idols – Gigolos on Parole (HSM, 1989)

nasty

This slightly weak Swedish glam album is strong on attitude but sadly pretty weak on songs; they almost make up for it with the genius of its opening track though.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: Undoubtedly ‘Gimme What I Want’ – a true classic.

 

 

Phantom Blue – Phantom Blue (Shrapnel, 1989)

phantom

Quite heavy for a glam-ish album, this is simply excellent, commercial 80s metal that happened to be made by glamorous ladies.

 

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Why Call It Love’

 

Pretty Boy Floyd – Leather Boyz with Electric Toyz (MCA, 1989)

pretty-boy-floydOne of the all-time great hair metal albums; look at that cover! Plus, every single song is a sleazy, feelgood anthem. They were just too late to be really huge, but they should have been.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ALL OF THEM

 

 

 

Shout – In Your Face (Music For Nations, 1989)

shoutIf the idea of Christian hair metal seems anything other than pure genius to you then I pity you. Like all hair metal bands, Shout are inherently ridiculous, but they take it to another level (again; look at that cover). But at the same time, it’s just good; kind of Whitesnake-ish bluesy hair metal, with lots of  shreddy solos and heartfelt, nearly-but-not-quite-preachy lyrics.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Waiting’

Show & Tell – Overnight Sensation (Medusa, 1988)

showObjectively quite bad indie hair-metal, but Show & Tell WANT to be famous so badly that they can’t help being likeable at least. Plus they do have a couple of songs that survive the tragically threadbare production values.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Hairspray Blues’

 

Sleeze Beez – Screwed, Blued and Tattooed (Atlantic, 1990)

sleeze

 Very Americanised Dutch glam metal; and good stuff too, classier than the name suggests, they sound a bit like White Lion.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Stranger Than Paradise’

 

 

Tigertailz – Young & Crazy (Music For Nations, 1987)

tigertailzThe ultimate UK hair metal band. Despite their very MTV image there is a definite British tinge to their hair metal sound, at their best they sound kind of like Duran Duran-meets-Motley Crue.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘She’z Too Hot’

 

 

Alien – Cosmic Fantasy (Ultranoise, 1984)

ALIEN

I don’t know much about Alien, but this is a very peculiar mini-album, a mix of classic hair metal and some spacey psychedelic bits – not great, but SOME of it is great.

 

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Don’t Say Goodbye’

 

Wrathchild (UK) – Stakk Attakk (Heavy metal records, 1985)

stakkkComplete trash with a 1970s, almost Glitter Band glam rock feel, and some classic, basic anthems.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Trash Queen’

 

 

 

 

Coney Hatch – Friction (Vertigo, 1985)

coneyMaybe more ‘melodic hard rock’ than true hair metal, and with one of the worst band names of the era, but utterly 80s and very good, this album has a plethora of catchy, atmospheric tunes.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘The Girl From Last Night’s Dream’

 

 

Celtic Frost – Cold Lake (Noise, 1988)

celticFamously a disastrous album for Swiss black/death metal legends Celtic Frost (fun fact; I once told Tom Warrior I liked it and he was genuinely disgusted) – this is a uniquely dark & sleazy glam classic that sounds like no other.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Petty Obsession’

 

 

Nitro – O.F.R. (Rampage, 1989)

nitroofrA suitable finale. Nitro was hair metal taken to its farthest extreme, there was really nowhere for it to go after this horrendously overbearing album, made by a group of over-talented music teachers. A headache (“shredache”?) waiting to happen, but it definitely has its moments.

The song that should be used on the soundtrack to some lame movie: ‘Freight Train’